How to Manage Your Anger
Today I got a phone call from the phone company. The person in the line told me that I lacked one payment and it needed to be taken care of. I tried to explain to her that I have already paid a few days ago but she kept on talking. It seemed that she did not want to listen just to inform and then she would go. I tried to ask her to listen but she still kept on talking. I started to get angry and asked her to stop. Still she did not seem to understand. Finally, I told her that I would hang up the phone and I did. I was really mad at her. Why was I? I don’t know. I tracked down her name and wanted to make a revenge. I found out that I paid but for the wrong phone number. I am sure that I write the right number when I paid. Probably, the lady at the counter punched the wrong number and charged me to pay for other people’s phone. Again, I started to be mad at her.
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This is the real event that happened to me just today. The point is whether it is worthwhile and reasonable for me to get angry. I think logically I should be mad at those ladies according to my own reason. They did wrong and they deserve to be scolded at. But when I rethink about it, what will be good for me if that is really happened. First the event has a lot to do with my assumptions. I do not know if my assumptions are true or not. I thought they are but who know. Secondly, it is for sure that if the event is good or bad is just my feeling. Whether the first girl is really rude on the phone is just my judgment. May be my expectation is not the way standard procedure is for her. May be I was not control my voice well to let her know that I want to speak. This may not be fair for her. Therefore, my first lesson from this event is that we should be fair for others. We need to not make our judgment by adding those negative comments toward what have happened.My second lesson is that I should not assume so much if it is not necessary. If it is not positive, I should not bother thinking about it whether it is true or not. If I feel bad, I should have stopped my assumption immediately. I would ask myself if I can find any positive meaning from what had happened. In this case, I should be very happy since the wrong charge is just a small amount of money. It teaches me to be careful and check the receipt every time I make a payment.The third and the last lesson is that anger does not solve any problem. Instead, it affects your sanity and consciousness. You can not make a good decision with the anger mode. Anger also affects your physical body in negative way. You got higher blood pressure. Your heartbeat gets faster. You have more adrenaline in your blood. All these can cause your body function abnormally and at the end makes poor decision or action.
Some people said it is OK to be angry and some said to express your anger toward others is a healthy way to lead a life. I think that is not the way we should practice. We need to know how to handle our anger in order to keep our mind bright and shine. Anger is one of the negative emotions that we need to take care of.
We tend to get angry when things go wrong. We have a tendency to blame others and be angry. This article talks about how to manage anger and learn to take responsibility on what happens in our life.
Jim Somchai
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