Change is something that happens in our lives naturally, whether we like it or not. Day turns into night. We grow older, as do our children. We buy houses, change homes, lifestyles, jobs and more.

Some of us don’t handle change as well as others. You see others happy to be changing careers, relationships or moving to another home. You wonder why they are so happy. What is it that so exciting about change? And why do you only fear change?

Unfortunately, fear can be a paralysing emotion and feeling. It can make us afraid to do anything and we simply stand still. The biggest fear of all humans is the fear of the unknown. When we can’t predict the outcome, we usually become afraid. Most of the time, with any type of change we can’t predict the outcome. That can be scary. However, one of the things in life that will definitely happen is change.

How to Handle ‘Change’ Better
But fear not! There is a better way to handle change so that it’s not so scary. In fact the reality is, change is not so much about handling something new and different as it is about making the new and different things a choice – your choice, owning them as your own. And the best way to conquer your fear of these new things or changes is by taking control, having a positive mindset and taking charge in a manner that says it is your choice to change. Make this a conscious decision – take ownership of the facts.

Planning for Change
Let’s say you need to make a career change. Plan out everything. How many interviews will you do a day? How will you obtain those interviews? Will you be switching to a different career or stay in the same type of career? What do you want to do? Where do you see yourself in six months?

Answer these questions in a notebook or journal. Outline what you plan on doing. Now most of the unknown is known! You have chosen to take ownership of your change and you hold the controls.

Don’t stop there, not even after you make your career change. Set long term and short term goals for yourself. The best way to conquer a fear is to face it and do it often. If you do this on a regular basis, you will soon wonder what made you so nervous. Make change your choice! And get help regularly from the pros by checking out library and online books, audio recording, videos and other helpful information focused on motivation and inspiration to learn more about how successful people have accepted and taken charge of the changes in their lives.

We all have habits and some of these habits are bad ones, kicking a bad habit and turning it into a more positive one is hard but is well worth the effort if you put your mind to succeeding. Our habits can determine our life to an extent and affect the way we feel and think, bad habits affect our self-esteem and lead to negativity while good habits lead to a feeling of achievement, accomplishment and positive thinking. So what is the key to successfully breaking our bad habits and replacing them with ones that are more positive? Listed below are some helpful techniques that you can put to use to change your bad habits into more positive ones.

Make a list
Make a list of all the reasons why you want to stop your habit, really give it some thought and list as many reasons as possible for giving up. For example if smoking is your habit and you wish to give up then you could put down things like its costs me x amount of money every year, it makes my clothes, hair and breath smell, it makes the whole house smell. By listing as many reasons as you can as to why you want to give up it will allow you to see in black and white what it is that you don’t like about your habit and why you should give it up.

Analyse yourself
Ask yourself what it is that you are getting out of your habit, are you really getting what you want from it? Do you really enjoy it? Or is the habit exactly that, just a habit that you have done for so long that you would feel uncomfortable without doing it?

List positive things you could swap your habit for
Stop and think what you could do to replace your habit that would be more positive, for example you could take up a hobby, workout, read, go for a walk, do chores around the home or take up an adult education class. All of these can help you to take your mind off and break your habit.

Visualize
Visualize how you would feel and the changes there would be if you broke your habit, for example if you are a smoker and wish to quit then picture the differences it would make if you did quit and replaced smoking with say working out. Picture yourself being able to breathe easier, your taste buds improving, your clothes, hair and home smelling fresher and cleaner and what you could buy from the money you saved.

Take one day at a time
Always take one day at a time when trying to break a habit, never look into the future and start to think how will I cope in certain situations. Choose a day to give up your habit and stick with it no matter what comes up, keeping a journal can also help you to deal with kicking your habits and is helpful to get your thoughts and feelings out at the most frustrating times.

When most people think of happiness and being successful they think of owning big houses, fast cars, expensive designer clothes and how big of a bank balance you have, however, how successful and happy you are does not necessarily depend on the material things you have in life.
 

If you are happy in life with what you have got regardless of the material possessions that you own or don’t own, then you are a very wealthy and successful person indeed. It is very often the smallest things in life which are priceless but are not of any great value other than the particular person who cherishes them for one reason or another.  In a society where we have been brought up believing material possessions are what is important it can be hard to believe that owning material possessions isn’t what makes us happy and brings success.
The same applies to wealth, it doesn’t matter how much money you had, would you really think that you had enough? Would having a bank account with thousands of dollars make such a difference to your life, would it bring you any more happiness or success than you have now?
 
We all want to live a comfortable life, without struggling each month to pay bills, that’s only natural, but apart from that money doesn’t bring true happiness and success, you can have thousands in the bank but if you’re alone in life, without real friends and family, without love, then you can never find true happiness and success.
 

What is success and happiness? 
In order to determine actually what success and happiness means you should first ask yourself this
 
• What is the meaning of success and happiness?
• What would being truly successful and happy mean?
• What do I want out of life?
 
These are the core questions behind understanding what happiness and success really would mean to you as an individual, for happiness and success means different things to each of us. You can be rich and successful in many more ways than having material possessions and money, think about some of the things you have in your life now, are you one of the richest and most successful people on the earth?
 
• True friends – if you can count on one hand five true friends who are always there for you through thick and thin then your are rich indeed
• Health – if you have good health through taking care of what you eat, exercising regularly then this is far more valuable than any amount of money in the bank
• A family – if you have a family around you who loves you then you will have a successful, rewarding and very happy life
• A good character – if you are an honest, kind and truthful person in all situations then you have success beyond your wildest dreams.

By holding grudges, we are holding onto the past and this holds us back and stops us from growing and going onward with our lives. Grudges and not allowing ourselves to let go of the past is negative and negativity holds us back and stops us from achieving what we are capable of achieving out of life and encourages resentment, unhappiness and fear instead of being happy in life and finding peace within ourselves.  Forgiveness is the key to happiness, true forgiveness is when you can release all your negative feelings towards another and let them go completely, you have to let the grudge go not only through words of acceptance but also feel it in your heart and soul.
 

Why is forgiving so difficult to do?
It is our negative ego that causes us to hold a grudge and tells us not to let it go, like all things that block success and happiness in our life, negativity again plays a huge part, only this time it affects our ego. By letting negativity affect our lives this way we are opening up the door and welcoming bitterness and deep resentment and these manifest deep within us and show in our health. Holding onto a grudge causes ulcers, stress and general overall poor health so it is essential that we learn to let go of our resentment and move on with life by letting go of our grudges. As with every other problem relating to negativity in our lives it is all about how we think, forgiveness is all about letting go of harmful train of thought patterns and developing new ones.
 
Developing the ability to let go
Developing the ability to let go takes time, if you allow yourself to look at your feelings honestly and calmly then you will realize that negative feelings evaporate and you begin to feel peace of mind through letting go of deep resentment. The key to truly forgiving is first being able to release your hurt and anger that person has caused you, without letting go of these feelings; true forgiveness is next to impossible.  If you try to forgive without releasing these feelings then the hurt and anger you feel will only continue to build and will manifest as resentment further down the road and resentment will eventually rear its ugly head, have no doubt about that.
 
A great way of releasing your feelings is to look directly at them and in great detail, admitting what it is that has hurt you and why it hurt you and realizing why you have to let it go, look at your feelings in a different light and gradually allow yourself to forgive and let go.  Forgiveness has to come from deep within you, there is no outside force which keeps a grudge building up, the feelings of forgiveness can only be generated from within yourself, only you can take responsibility and forgive and let go and move on in a more peaceful and contented life.